Monday, February 11, 2013

Love is


Not diarrhea  That is right, Love is not diarrhea  Ok, why do you ask that I say this? Because I cannot take it when people left and right are telling me that love just happens. There is no reason behind, love never happens for a reason. You know how the saying goes that shit happens. Love doesn't happen like that. Love is not diarrhea.

OK, you can skip this paragraph for the imagery it may provide. I am sorry for that. I vividly remember what my first conscious memory of diarrhea is. I remember wearing grey shorts and sitting in the front courtyard of my house and reading. I felt a little tingly sensation in my stomach. I felt like I had gas and wanted to fart. I tried, except instead of gas a thick fluid came through. I felt disgusted and ran to the toilet as I felt myself getting moister with every step I took.


Love is nothing like that. Love happens for a reason. When some people told me that love doesn't happen for a reason I honestly felt like saying “Kids these days, don’t know what love is”! Of course saner sense prevailed when I also thought that since these were my friends, they were not that young or me that old to think or say this. Yes, I understand that the realization that you are in love with someone can be sudden or gradual. It can come out of the blue to you, but the feeling is not baseless.

Yes, you may think that the reason for your love can fail. You love someone for what they promised, and what they could have been but chose not to. Such is not a failure of our reason, but the failure of your loved to reflect the values you seek. Ayn Rand got this right: One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person's character. And if the person, in whom you wished to see those values come alive, didn't breathe of them then it is not the failure of your love but of them.

Love is not a sacrifice. You can give up many things in the name of love. If doing something or not having something brings a smile or comfort to the person you love, then it is not a sacrifice. You did it for bringing happiness to your loved, and that mattered to you more than what you did or gave up. You got something in return for what you did.

You can love someone and realize the reason only when you think upon it. But you cannot love someone without a reason. You may have a set notion for the type of person you will love, and when you meet that type of person you will know that this is the person you were searching for. A physical form containing the values you seek. But you cannot have a person you love just like that. Love just doesn't happen, it happens for a reason.  There are people who end up saying that I don’t know why I loved him/her because they did not base their love on something. You can know of course why you don’t love a person anymore. You thought different of that person before, and now you have reasons to believe that he doesn't meet them. It is OK  please move on.

You see even diarrhea doesn't happen without reason. There could be toxins, food poisoning, infections or any different reason for it to happen.

Everyone has a different reason for love.  For some it is the sense of comfort the other person brings to you. It can also be a feeling of security that you can be yourself in the presence of that person that you can be without inhibitions. It can be because of the felling you got once you kissed you would never want to kiss anyone else again. I realized that for me it was a sense of admiration. An admiration for the questions that I had to ask myself, for the reasons she did the things she did, for her courage to live her life as she wanted, for making me realize the difference between who I am and who I wanted to be.

And if nothing else, ask yourself one thing when you think you love a person. What is it that makes you love this person and not someone else? What is it that sets this person apart from the countless others you have met? For if you love this person without a reason, you might as well be loving another stranger in the crowd.

7 comments:

  1. Reams and reams have been written about love, but I guess I shall not find one where the thought of diarrhea comes in :D

    That apart, all those who say it just happened, take time to realize that it happened because of something... a twinkle in the eye, a sudden smile, a kindness, sheer beauty... whatever. But it comes, later, in moments when one goes over what hit one :)

    I heart this post :)
    Lovely read, to begin the day!

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  2. Well, I was about to say diarrhea happens for a reason. But you said it towards the end anyway. By the way, don't blame 'kids of today for the "love doesn't happen for a reason" thing you hear. That has been around since very very long. It is older than even me. And whaddya know, I have to beg to differ. I do believe love ALSO happens without a reason; at least I have not found a reason yet :) Still left doondofying for that reason. :)

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  3. Comment by Rashmee Pahuja on G+:

    Do you really want the science behind love and loving? Here is the science of it Helen Fisher: The brain in love

    Love the way you have written it. Yes there is always a reason...There is nothing in this world that isnt done or said or here without a reason. What the reason is will depend on the person...Either they are aware of the reason or they are not. Most prefer not Knowing cause if they did, they will realize it isnt all as NOBLE as it is made out to be by the Poets and Literary laureates of our times.

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  4. Ha! I agree.. We love for a reason. I find this emotion quite fascinating!!
    so many facets to it, so many restrictions!
    I also think love is beautiful and fabulous and uplifting!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol, I notice that I am the only one who differs :P ;)

    ReplyDelete
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